We’ve all been caught in an uncomfortable situation that searched bizarre on the outside but actually had a fairly reasonable interpretation. Too bad, that are typically these experiences are so awkward for all the people involved that you don’t even have an opportunity to explain yourself. A Reddit user questioned people to share their ‘biggest this isn’t what it looks a lot like moments’ and the weave was inundated with “the worlds largest” embarrassing tales. Scroll below to read some and share your own in specific comments! ( Facebook cover image: iStock)
More of a “this isnt what it sounds like”…
A family we were close to had just moved to the US from India. They had a young daughter, like 5 years old, who was still learning English. One period she fell down the stairs while playing outside. She ran in hollering and saying “The stairs made me! ” … formerly she calmed down her dad corrected her and said “No no. You mean to say ‘I fell down the stairs’.”
A few days later my dad was depicting them the grocery store. In the checkout pipeline the cashier find the girl’s bruised up legs and asked what happened. The daughter replied in “What did you tell me to say, papa? Oh privilege! I fell down the stairs.”
He had a fun time explaining that to the police.
It was my third day at my new office position. When I rinsed my hands my pants touched the counter top which was covered with ocean. Naturally I now look like I pissed myself and had a giant 6 by 6 soaked field around my crotch. I couldnt walk around with that so I thought to use the hand dryer. However, the hand dryer was the different types that you lodge your hands in instead under. So I line up and basically mount this hand dryer like I am looking for a good time. I look at myself in the mirror and as I start reckoning “this wont appear good if…” and of course the CIO ambles in before I could finish the thought and react. He looks at me and in deadpan voice says “Do I need to call HR? ” to which I responded “No, its consensual.” We had a good laugh about it and he never let me be borne in mind that moment!
This is one of my moms absolute favorite tales to tell:
My partner and I were in a kind of great distances relation at this point( high schoolers living 40 mins apart) and they are able to occasionally drive up after school to come see me
On this specific day my mama came home from job and was concerned with the lack of sound.
I hear her calling my epithet as she comes closer, she eventually gets to my closed bedroom door not wanting to see what I’m sure every mother is looking forward to by this point
She swingings it open and find the two partners and I
…..putting together our brand new Millennium Falcon( full sizing for action figures) that we had just acquired from Toys R us
My dog maintained stepping on the parts and messing things up in his dopiness so we shut the door
After that she never worried about us being alone.
Honestly think this are likely to be the moment where my momma chose she wanted to adopt my partner.
Sometimes, I’m not sure who she desires more ……. s/
Btw – My partner and I got married this year and we still have that Millennium Falcon
I used to take my kids to different playgrounds as they were growing up. Often times I’d be out there with them, chasing them, being the random monster/ dragon/ foe while they run away and then eventually turn around and chase me back. Unavoidably since the rest of the parents were on their iPhones or doing anything but interacting with their kids, I’d end up with a collect who wanted to join in the fun.
It was all going well until they said they wanted to play “Minecraft”
So as a group of kids suddenly scatter from where I am standing screaming “Ah! Run away from the Creeper! Ahhh! ” I look up to see a line of mothers suddenly jostled back into consciousness with utterly no friggin context whatsoever.
My dad not me. Running building in the dead of winter he gets back to the motel after pulling the night shift, he sits down on the bunk and he is so frozen can’t bend down to take off his boots so his coworker who is a gigantic mortal get down on his knees to undo my dad’s boots. The cleaning lady barges in to appreciate a massive male on his knees and head down in front of another man who’s sitting on the edge of a bed. Now my father did what anyone would do shed his hands behind his head and sobbed real loud.
Anytime I open a can that isn’t cat food I have to explain to my cat that “this isn’t what it looks like.”
I work as a administrator at a convenience store. Some cashiers aren’t old sufficient to scan booze so I have to do it for them. I made a comment to a girl cashier after the 4th time she called me over. “I can’t wait until you’re 19. ” Took me a few seconds to realize what I said, in front of customers.
I used to work security/ reception at my company, so I saluted everyone when they came in the door and made sure they were wearing their security badge. You could either wear your badge on a lanyard around your neck or on a retractable belt clip.
So I’ve been doing this job for like 2 years when I’m outside talking to some of the girls that work on the 2nd flooring. One of them merely flat out wants to know why I ever check out women when they come in to visit.
Turns out, there was a lot of talk about how I was “looking wives up and down” when they came through the door. Well, I was looking everyone up and down. I would look at their chest first and if there was no badge there, my eyes would move to their belt. It was kind of my job and stuff.
I will preamble this by saying a couple of weeks prior to this, my wife had bought some frilly underwear on clearance sale, and a couple of bananas to eat on the way to work. I was chilling in the car at the store while she went in when I reeked nasty over-ripe bananas. I reached into the backseat and pulled out the container that had been forgotten back there. I take the underwear out of the suitcase and tie the old-time banana up bird-dog poo mode. No big deal, right?
For whatever reason, my brain moves I wonder if these brand new underwear now reek of old squishy banana? and I put them to my nose and take a big whiff- right as a sweet old lady draws into the parking place in front of our car. She looks at me, panties pressed into my nose inhaling deep, her eyes run broad with collapse, and visibly sway, she draws back out of the spot and drives away. Literally leaves. Shopping journey cancelled. I know I had to look like some kind of degenerate debase on a public minge-binge, but it wasn’t what it looked like.
TLDR: Searched like a unclean panty inhaling weirdo in the convenience store parking lot, nearly establish old lady stroke out in horror
I went to my friend’s home last night( edit: not actually last darknes. I told this history before on Reddit and copy-pasted it without changing the time frame) and came back around 12:30 am. To set some context, my friend lives about an hour away from me on the opposite side of the town. When I was driving back home subsequentlies, this car cut me off on the on ramp, and I honked at them. I then turned back up the music, and pretty much drove home on autopilot, but when I got off the freeway at my exit, I realized that the same car that cut me off was in front of me. After that, I got various kinds of curious, because it had been about 30 minutes since the accident, and we’d changed freeways twice already. I then got a little bit worried that they’d belief I was following them residence, but I didn’t think too much of it–until the car started going up the same side streets I did.
Eventually, I realized that my 16 -year old-fashioned neighbor who just learned how to drive cut me off, and she and her friends were probably now petrified that some lunatic was following them dwelling. I guess she’d called her parents in the meantime because she drew into her driveway and the house lights be totally lighted up, and her father( a huge guy) was standing outside with a baseball bat. I then drew into my own garage and apologized for daunting them and it was all coldness after that.
When I was little, my mom would sometimes take me working in cooperation with her at a little shop she operated. I would often pass the time( and stay out of moma
s whisker) by describing and handing out my a
works of arta
to clients. One day, when I was 3 or 4, I learned about dialing 911. I apparently felt the concept was so important, I wrote a
bawl 911 a
on all the doodles I handed out to the customers at moma
s store that evening. Obviously people starting thinking I had been kidnapped or something, and freaked out. My mommy had fun explaining that one to the police!
My boyfriend and I had a fight and both went to bed grumpily( we therefore housemates and had separate bedrooms ). In the centre of the night I heard a LOUD thump in the living room region of the house. I grabbed my baseball bat and went through the whole house with the bat( and the sunlights on ). Every closet, every closet, etc. Good-for-nothing was out of order and the doors were locked. I was still spooked and running high on adrenaline.
It was about 4:30 in the morning and I had to get up at 6 so I merely gave up on going back to sleep before that. I debated what to do for the hour and a half and decided to go to IHOP( open 24 h where I live ). As I was about to leave I realized that if I left my sleeping lover in the house and the killers WAS actually still there and killed I would feel extremely guilty. So I went to wake him up just enough to warn him before I left for IHOP.
He woke up to me leaning over his bunk, maintaining a at-bat, and whispering about assassination. He almost cried.
I was 16 and my parents just left the house for a dinner out. I had to do laundry so I start right when they are left the door to get it done as early as possible.
As I’m filling the machine I notice a stain on my shirt and so I threw it with the rest of the clothes. I also look at my gasps and decide to add them as well along with my socks and…f ** k it my underwear as well.
So I’m butt naked and I start the machine. I rush to the stairs to get to my room and dress up and that’s when the front doorway( which is right where the stairs are) opens and I freeze.
My dad comes in and sees me naked. We both aren’t moving a few seconds and then he chuckles, grabs his wallet on the table and says: “So THAT’S what you are doing while we aren’t here? “. He then closes the door while giggling.
I’m there still in shock and red-faced as a beet. I rush to dress and call my mothers on my mother’s cell phone to tell them it’s not what they think as they are just tittering their fools off.
My best friend of 15 years, J, is a guy and with me being a girl we have always abode people accepting we HAVE to have sex. Spoiler: we dona
Anyways, we are camping with a few friends and got supremely drunk. One of my lovers, M, has taken off into the timbers after a fight with her boyfriend and the 4 of us are trying to find her. At this phase, Ia
m so full of tequila I know Ia
m are due to puke so I ask my best friend to hold my hair back.
We are in complete darkness, Ia
m on all fours upchuck, hea
s awkwardly standing in front of me kinda hunker down because hea
s a foot taller than me and maintaining all my mane up while I heave. It appeared … I know HOW it appeared but on my life I was get sick. At this precise time, M runs out of the woods, flashlight immediately on us and screamings a
HOLY S ** T SHES BLOWING HIM! a
m legit retching so difficult I dona
t even hear her. By the time we got back to the campfire M had told everyone else what “shes seen”. Shea
s still adamant to this day that she knows what she saw.
Edit: wow everyone got the incorrect notion of M wholly! Shea
s genuinely not a b ** ch, dramatic Fucking – god yes but a b ** ch no. We had a metric f ** k ton of tequila that night no one was thinking rationallyd
As for J, hea
s not in the a
ya f ** kina
sad papas. Ita
s possible to adore someone, enjoy their company and emotional support, without craving or required to be put your genitalia into their assorted body cavities.
Back when the Netflix app on Xbox had the theatre give where you could invite pals and watch movies. My pals and I were watching the history of sexuality film( being horny 12 year olds and thinking sexuality was funny) they delayed the video on the statue of two people f ** ruler, then my papa marched in. I looked at him embarrassed saying, “this isnt what it looks like” my father said, “it’s okay mike I’d love you anyways” and marched out.
Alright, as a student, when I visited my hometown I got to visit my granny before leaving back to university and grandma ever had small chocolates for people visiting her. Her grandchildren would get more than one usually. As I was leaving the house she gave me one more to have it during the travel back home.
I ate a piece of chocolate while loading my stuff in the car and I set the smaller chocolate in my back pocket, right before I say goodbye to my parents. It was a red-hot period at the end of summer.
A bit before the exit to the route I was taking, I stopped at a traffic light and realized that the chocolate between my butt and my automobile bench was not a good idea, so I’m reaching for it. Chocolate already melted and package already open stirred my left to right full of melted chocolate.
Following the loud “well, s ** t”, I realize that the girl in the car next to me simply understood a guy reaching his butt and bringing his hand up again full of a dark-brown unknown sticky thing.
The look on her face was totally worth noting. Merely bad thing is that melted chocolate won’t go away merely with tissues.
My friend and I were sitting at lunch bitching about this Chris guy who was in our class and who was an absolute twat. Really not a nice human being. At one point I turned around and insured another Chris, an absolute sweetheart, sitting nearby appearing absolutely crushed. Took 5 minutes to convince him that “were not” talking about him. I felt far worse though.
Not me but a kid I worked with. He comes in to the break room maintaining some sandwiches and a Dr Pepper, sits down and starts eating and then tries to have a liquor but he can’t open it. I offer to twist the eyelid off but no, he can do it he says.
So he puts this Dr Pepper in between his legs, grabs the eyelid with both hands and twistings. This, plainly, wasn’t a bright thought. It explodes over his lap building him was like he’s pissed himself.
So he goes to the bathroom to clean up, gets some loo roll and starts washing up but it still looks really bad.
Over by the radiator is a hand dryer, so in his infinite wisdom he sets one paw on top of the radiator and the slants his crotch to the hand dryer and starts rubbing furiously as the hand drier’s going.
Unluckily for him, he’s facing away from the door so when the next guy marches in all he can see is this skinny dude rubbing his crotch like no tomorrow while waving it under the hand drier.
Apparently the guy merely walked right on back away after muttering a “sorry”.
He didn’t find it funny when I pointed out the Dr Pepper motto was “What’s the most difficult that can happen? “
One time during my teens, I was using my grandparents’ computer to look up video game cheat codes. I was obsessed they might disapprove that I was applying cheats, so when my grandfather ambled into the chamber, I speedily decreased the window and turned around to say hello and ask what he needed.
His response: “Oh nothing important, I’ll just come back later.” He almost seemed to be rushing out.
I turned back to the computer screen in confusion, be noted that downplaying the window had revealed a pornographic pop-up ad hiding in the background. I was super embarrassed. He never mentioned it though.
I threw my dad in this situation when I was a kid. Probably around 10 years old or so.
For context, my daddy rarely drank in front of us growing up but would occasionally have a beer. As parents often do, he would have me go get it for him if we were in the same chamber. I was a lazy kid and didn’t want to miss whatever we were watching on Tv so I often received this to be an exasperation but pretty minor in the grand strategy of things.
So one day he’s chatting with a couple coworkers and I’m there. They were joking around about something and he turns to me and asks “You like me, right? ” I answer back “Yeah except for when you booze beer”.
Adult me face palms every time I think about that. My dad is awesome.
My boyfriend and I were jumping on the trampoline together years ago, merely ricochetting around like a got a couple of kids, giggling our butt off. It was fun! He accidentally butt dialed his mothers, who speakerphoned our laughter, creaking springtimes, and gasping to a car onu of people. They were all mortified. We were able to set it straight later, but OOF. Sorry mom and dad.
The girl I was dating during sophomore year of college and I were both organ majors, preparing for an upcoming duet.
During the summer, it was so warm in the church which is something we practised( no air conditioner, and the organ installed up high in the rear where it was extra hot) that she and I played in our underwear, with merely a small follower to move the air.
We were scandalized when we heard the locked door open, and ensure the pastor participate the church. He glanced at us, playing the organ in next-to-nothing, but soon left and locked the door behind him.
Later he told me at first he did a double-take, but then recognized we were doing the smart thing – and that in his seminary periods, he would’ve done likewise.
I worked at a care residence for the elderly. We had one patient who had Alzheimer’s and one of the few directions we had to calm her when upset was to have her crease the napkins. I guess it built her tranquilize to know she was being helpful, or perhaps it reminded her of her past as a wife/ mother.
So she was doing her folding one afternoon and a potential new occupant comes in with her family. My inhabitant with Alzheimer’s craves a change of speed, but terms it like “I’m actually getting tired…”
It looked for sure like were forcing elderly people with dementia to do all our operate … until the latter are exhausted.
Technically my mom’s.
My eldest cousin was a little shit. She was with my mommy( her aunt) at the grocery store. She was around 5. My mom told her she could pick a treat, she said she wanted a candy and an ice cream. Mom said no, she had to pick 1.
So my cousin says to the cashier ‘shes not my mother! ‘ and the cashier freaks out considering cousins been kidnapped or something. Mom had to explain that she’s her aunt. I think they terminated up having to call my aunt, cousins mama, to explain the situation. This was back in like ‘8 5. My mom’s still annoyed.
Oh man. Sitting at a traffic light when I was eighteen. Craved to get something out of my pocket( chapstick I believe ). I was wearing jeans that, when sitting, might as well have locked pockets. I preserve my eyes forward so I can see if the illuminate turns light-green, while I dig into my pocket. Have to kind of thrust my hips upwards and move a bit to reach my hand amply into my jeans. During my gyrating pocket quest I stir eye linked with a girl intersecting the crosswalk( Ia
m a person ). A look of horror intersects her face and she says something to her friend. The other girl gives me a disgusted looking as well and they hasten in the different regions of the crosswalk. Ia
m sure it appeared bad from their perspective.
I was stands ready to take a shower( my bedroom has its own bathroom/ shower) and I was already naked in my bedroom simply waiting for the ocean to get hot. Well, my dog was also in my bedroom because he ever hangs out there. I was devouring M& Ms merely lying on my bunk naked during this time and plunged an M& M onto the ground and it rolled under my bunk. Being very anxious about what my bird-dog feeds( especially chocolate ), I promptly got onto my knees on the field and went to reach under the bunk for the M& M. It rolled kinda far, so I was doing that thing where you are stretching your limb out as much as you can under the couch and just barely touching whatever it is youa
re trying to get, without knocking it farther away. Well, my golden retriever realise its own position I was in and walked over and mounted me. Literally at that moment, my mom opens the door to my bedroom and seeing each other butt naked, bent on my knees, with my hound mounted behind me. I entail, talk about the doggy mode statu ……. I had a lot of clarifying to do. It felt like an American Pie situation.
When I was in middle school we therefore roller skating and I couldn’t stop so I hoisted my hands to not reach this girl in front of me. Of course I’m like “ahhhhhhhh” as I’m about to run into her and because of this she is about to change right as I’m about to hit her and both my hands cup her boobs.
The teacher was like “Ron what the hell are you doing ?! “
Not mine but already heard this history last week from a buddy. At a ball game with his sister/ brother in statute and 4-5yo nephew. Brother in line for concessions, sister back at seats or whatever, little one needs to use restroom, they tell my buddy no problem only manager in with the kid he knows the drill. The kid, like many do, starts to various kinds of strip down before going to the bathroom starts asking inquisitive questions about why there are so many people in bathroom, why are things the course they are in that restroom, but ultimately culminating with the now practically naked little kid requesting him in a crowded public restroom, “but where is my family? “
Friend was growing weed in his closet, we therefore checking it out and his mom comes calling and then only stroll right upstairs into his apartment. He runs out to intercept her, I run out 2 mins later after closing up the rig, and she imagines to this day we therefore having sexuality. Even told his then-fiance that she understands if we have a “group arrangement”…
Went to a friend’s house and since it was an after party for a play-act, in high school, on a Friday, of course there was beer and we were all underage. I wasn’t boozing but a chum of mine needed to go home so I plunged him off and headed back. As I get out of the car when I got back I noticed the information was quiet but it’s a huuuge mansion( like 4-5k square paws) and I figured they were in the basement doing something quieter and I couldn’t listen to them. Front door locked … OK I was just here 15 minutes ago, brain to back door, unlocked. Awesome. Now the entire house was beeping as if someone was breaking in. Holy fuck that’s this house right here. OH F ** K THAT’S ME.
Run into cellar , nobody there. Upstairs , nobody there. Kitchen, illuminated off. Start to hear the house telephone reverberating but I don’t answer and I know it’s too late. Call friend , no answer. Call another friend , no response. Envision beer cans everywhere so I clean them up and obscure them, obscures the brownies they had, checked around the house one more day for stuff and waited for my inevitable demise. Friends call me back as I’m outside freaking the inferno out and they start to rushing home.
Long story short the officers demonstrated up with two bird-dogs and artilleries pointed at me and I get slammed to the floor and handcuff, friends arrived at home and explained situation just in time before I’m hauled off, they decided to run out to eat at the exact convenient hour I left, never “ve told me”, and left the bank doorway unlocked with the members of this house horrify armed. That was a hell of a night…
Was sitting and watching TV, neighbours came over to visit with their kids. Their daughter moves over, inexplicably sits in my lap and ricochets up and down several times before I can stand up.
The remote was in my lap. Kid says “What’s that hard thing? ” and stands up soon. A little sway, I likewise stand up, the remote falls off my lap and lands on the flooring, and as I lean down to picking it up, I take a step forward and I kick it for the purposes of the coffee table. Turn to explain myself , notification I’m wearing pants that bunch up in the crotch Larry David style.
I drew an all-nighter formerly, came home after job, and sat down at personal computers to check some emails. I was scarcely able to comprehend the words on the screen I was so tired. I reached into my gym shorts to scratch my projectiles, and I guess i just passed out within the next few seconds. I was discovered passed out in the computer chair with my hand down the front of my shorts.
My brother and I got into a fist fight( he was right, I was wrong) and he punched me in the mouth. I was bleeding pretty good and deterred spewing blood on him for some reason. He went into the condo( vacation) and my momma freaked out because he had blood all over him. It proceeded a little like this Mom – OMG YOUa
RE COVERED IN BLOOD Brother – calm down it isna
t my blood Mom – OMFG WHOSE BLOOD IS IT WHAT DID YOU DO ?!?! Brother – Mom Ita
s fine ita
s merely Tylera
s( me) blood Mom – OMFG DID YOU F ** KING KILL HIM ?!?! WHERE IS TYLER ?!?!? I trod in shortly after alive and well. The spat between my brother and I was settled btw.
This is light-hearted.
I was like 13 canals channel-surf. I’m flowing through the poop channels. Exaclty as my daddy treads in the back door with my little brother, I flip past a browse network that is showing bras on live models. I must have been on that channel for. 8 seconds. It was so ridiculously timed, that it looked like I had the demonstrate on and changed it right after he came in. He gave me s ** t for it and wouldn’t believe me.
When my brother was young he was playing with the vacuum and handled himself with those suction cliques. He had a physical subsequently that day and was like he was covered in hickeys
Also more of a “this isn’t what it sounds like”…
I was a weird person in high school, and my friends are similarly odd. We had no boundaries.
My friend and I were sauntering to class, and were discussing the Jackass clip where they had a gas mask and tube assembly where one person wore the mask and the other farted into the tube. We envisaged this sounded like a pretty cool idea and were considering trying this out..
As we sauntered around the corner, I said to him, “I’ll suck yours if you’d suction mine”. Que the red-hot girl conveniently rounding the corner at that precise moment…
My wife and I used to hide money in her underwear drawer so our kids won’t be delving through it because they think it’s gross. One morning, I was getting dressed and wanted to get some money before I forget, so I was delving through her underwear when my 5-year old-fashioned son visualized me. He asked what I was doing and naturally, I can’t tell him that I needed money so I had to say something like that I was cleansing things up. Pretty sure he didn’t think you are and imagined I was looking for a pair to wear.
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